insomniac, music evangelist, traveler, Random Citizen

I’ve been trying to show you over and over

March 22, 2009 – 3:02 pm

Thanks to a handful of lingerie purchases from a few stores and some dance classes, I’m becoming a girl again. Well, I’ve always been a girl, but sometimes, I find myself floating above my body instead of living within it.

The thing is, when you take classes like bellydancing and pole dancing, you really have to be in touch with your body — how it moves and how it uses the space. During bellydance class yesterday, we had to do a move called the “flutter,” which involved a series of rapid breaths to make our abdomens undulate.

To ensure I was doing it correctly, it meant exposing my belly to the mirror (and the rest of the class). Surprisingly, it only took a few seconds for me to get over the fact that other women would be seeing my less-than-toned midsection and perhaps judging me. If nothing else, I was probably judging myself more harshly. (I always say to myself that my back looks like a sad shar-pei.)

Likewise, in my inaugural pole dance class on Wednesday, I practiced my moves and although I quickly sat down after practice, it did become more and more fun. At the end of the class, there was this great sense of freedom that came over me.

It was the feeling of happily existing within my body rather than observing it from the outside. And because of that, I’m looking forward to having that feeling again…soon.

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